Becoming a Mum For The First Time
I can’t say I ever had an over whelming desire to be a Mum at all as I was growing up, and through my twenties. I always thought it probably would happen at some point but it wasn’t until I met Alex and was in a happy, stable relationship that I really thought about it more. I liked holding other people’s babies but I wouldn’t say I was particularly ‘maternal’.
Alex and I were very fortunate that I fell pregnant very quickly once we decided we wanted a family. I remember the day I found out, and I felt instantly different. Like you actually aren’t the most important person in the world anymore.
I took my pregnancy very seriously. I instantly cut out everything the ‘books and apps’ told me to. In fact I lived by books, apps and google. I read up everyday on being a Mummy, I loved looking at the app each week and finding out what amazing things were going on in my tummy. The woman’s body truly is the most incredible thing on earth. Every mummy should be made to feel proud of what they have accomplished carrying a baby.
I guess I had a very fairytale image of what being a Mummy would be like. I think I thought I would carry about my normal day but just have this little human with me…..how wrong was I?! Especially because I was so involved in my growing business, I thought I would carry on exactly as normal.
My birth in the grand scheme of things, despite Jenson being back to back, was relatively okay. I mean, the gas and air made for some good comedy stories for Alex. The moment my baby boy was passed to me was the most magical moment of my life. Those first few hours holding him on my chest were so special and I’ll always remember them.
We were out of hospital within 7 hours of Jenson arriving into this world. That first night Jenson slept a solid 12 hours. Alex and I woke in the morning and were like WOW that was so easy. What’s everyone going on about when they say being a parent is hard work?! Yep we actually said that!!!
Day two and I entered Mum club with a bang. Nocturnal sleep patterns, not knowing how to use this new steriliser, Googling every half hour making sure I was doing something right or not. Sleep when the baby sleeps they say…..what about the washing, the cleaning, showering, feeding yourself, running a business and don’t even get me started on the hair washing! 2 and a half years on and dry shampoo is still my best friend and I’m not ashamed I rock the mum bun most days.
When 2 Became 3
We settled into life as 3, and we spent a lot of time travelling with my business, especially abroad. The beauty of my business means that I come as a package. If my family can’t come, then I don’t go. Of course there are times we chose to travel just Alex and I depending on where it’s to and what is going to be best for our family.
We decided quite quickly that we wanted to add to our tribe, and wanted our first two children to be close in age, so tried for another baby when Jenson was just 9 months and again I was very lucky to fall pregnant again very fast.
Being pregnant and with a toddler was HARD. It was a completely different pregnancy experience. 20 weeks of all day sickness thrown in and a house move didn’t help proceedings (through my blogs you’ll start to learn I don’t do things by half!). Having a child to take care of every second, one that was at a stage that always wanted or needed picking up was a challenge but I got through it and actually reached another pinnacle point in my business shortly before giving birth to our beautiful baby girl.
My second birthing experience was quite a bit quicker. I woke up at 3am with pains minutes apart, and if the hospital had picked up on my waters not breaking properly we would of been all done within 3 hours. Another back to back baby but I’m grateful things went smoothly and I was entered into the wonderful pink bubble of little girlhood. I thought all through my pregnancy I was having a boy so it was just a brilliant surprise.
I loved both times not knowing the sex of our babies. Literally the best surprises of our lives.
Becoming a Mum of 2 Under 2
Well, what can I say about being a Mummy of 2 under 2… I think I’ve spent the past year figuring it all out. That’s reality. It’s taken me a WHOLE year to figure out how to do this. How you coordinate 2 children. Most days we are late. I don’t venture anywhere other than soft play, the supermarket or a family members house with both of them on my own. In fact it’s not worth taking a toddler anywhere they don’t want to be! It’s just easier being at home where they can play in comfortable surroundings.
Our travelling has decreased. Although we still do love our trips, I think we have scaled them down to more manageable destinations and lengths of time. Our 3 week trip we attempted to do started with me being told by check in agents that the cases were physically too heavy for the scales and items needed to be removed. Not just reshuffled round our bags, we had too much stuff, totally REMOVED!
My business is mainly run through nap times and in the evenings, or tag teaming with Alex. But that’s okay- that’s why I chose a work from home business so I can do this.
Don’t be fooled by an aesthetically pleasing Instagram. My days are full of toddler tantrums, snotty noses, a messy home, making 5 rounds of breakfast and dinner until I find something two fussy ones will eat, constant worry over whether I’m doing stuff right or being good enough, am I teaching them enough. I am tired a lot! That has been the toughest part of motherhood for me….the sleep deprivation.
I take my hat off to anyone that’s doing this solo. Honestly I salute you. You’re amazing.
Would I change anything? Probably the amount of time I’ve visited Google over the last 2 and a half years, I think that’s put more fear into me at times than was needed. Definitely the amount of time I’ve felt I’m not doing things right, or judged by others.
At the end of the day, motherhood like anything else is your own journey. You do what’s right for you and your children to get through each day.
I’ve learnt this Mum Club is hard, but is it worth it?! A million percent. I can’t even imagine my life before our babies now. The joy, laughter and love they bring me each day is priceless. I’m incredibly grateful I spend most moments with them, and I know that every hard time we face (like Jensons recent 5 month stint of waking up to 20 times a night) is a PHASE! It doesn’t matter how many times others feel the need to tell you your making a rod for your own back (ridiculous phrase) or that you shouldn’t allow your child to sleep in bed with you as you’ll never get them out, or you should wean them off their dummy early otherwise they will always need it (has anyone actually seen a twenty year old with a dummy still?! I think not). You always come through the phases, some might be longer than others but you do, and you learn how to deal with it that’s right for YOU and your family.
Seeing our two babies with this incredibly close bond is amazing and I wouldn’t change any of the last year. Well maybe if I could of got a bit more sleep it would of been good haha…..